Lucky!

I'm so lucky not to be dead, because closest one to me was a drug addict. I'm so lucky I didn't get married at 21, because I would have missed all these great people and great opportunities. I’m so lucky to have quitted university and started over. I'm so lucky to have such brother, protective even though far. I'm so lucky to have been dumped, because I might have sacrificed my life for an idiot whom doesn't even think. I'm so lucky to be here, this moment, this place because of all this experience. I'm so lucky not to have killed myself, because I didn't have the courage and I'm grateful. I'm so lucky to have such nice teacher, whom loves me like her own kid. I'm so lucky to have such family, so considerate. I'm so lucky to have the brains to be here. I'm so lucky to be conscious, to feel myself and take good care of moments. I'm so lucky to have such friends, I can count on. I'm so lucky to be me!

 

Though I'm lucky, I might be a total idiot some times. Though I know some things are totally wrong I give in to them. Though I'm so lucky, I keep forgetting how much I have, and will be miserable. Though I'm so bright I keep blaming myself for not being able to compete with those luckier than me, to be born somewhere else. Though I'm so lucky not to be in love, I miss being in love! Though I'm here right now, I wish I could have done this 5 years ago, and I know how much I would have missed. Though I'm so lucky, I’m keep lying to myself, convincing I'm not.

 

It's not important if I cannot write any more, though I miss my poems and I keep discovering new angles of myself in them. It's not important if I’m alone on a Saturday night, longing for company, because I could confess and that's relieving. It's not important that I'm missing some events that I might never ever see, because I'm working on something way important, myself. It's not important that I long for a true friend now, because there is always another day and no one dies from being alone. It's not important that I'm not in love, because I have found true love, self love. It's not important to be a total mistake, everybody is!

 

This Longing has made me miserable though conscious.

 

I'm trying to be as grateful as I can remember. So in whatever category you are I thank you, for sharing moments with me.